Debrief Questions

Written By Dave Helmuth

On the night of August 18th, Aspen and Clementine returned home!

It was so good to see them again and reintegrate them into daily family life. Though it hasn't always been smooth, it’s been good.

While they were away, I started coming up with questions for them to process. Since it’s our first experience with sending our kids off and then receiving them back, I wanted to help them think well, capture learnings, and minimize the bumps of transition. And I thought I’d share them with you in case you ever are in the same season we’re in.

Debrief Questions

Being away gives you “disconnected clarity” that is hard to come by when you’re back in your own digs. Taking the time to think, process, and pray through these answers before returning can help make what’s next so much better! Remember to be in conversation with the Holy Spirit as you write and process. He’ll lead you into all truth.

Answer these questions before you arrive home and then review your answers two weeks after your return.

How have I experienced anointing - something that I thought would be hard but turned out super fruitful and easy?

How has my family of origin prepared me exceptionally well for the experience I just had?

What gaps did I notice that my family experience didn’t provide me for the experience I just had?

What’s one thing I prepared for that I totally didn’t need and one thing I had no idea I should’ve prepared for but didn’t?

What’s one way in which I have felt negatively and one way I’ve felt positively when I meet others and thought, “boy, I have grown up differently than you!”?

What did I have no idea I was capable of that I want to include in the next part of my life?

I just stretched. What do I want to retain? BEFORE I jump back into my home context, what do I want to avoid, or what do I want to decide?

In what ways does “home” and family of origin give me “roots and wings,” and in what ways does it feel like “ruts and chains”?

What do I like better about living away from home, and what do I like better about living at home? How can I take the best of both worlds and combine them?

What do I dread about going home and what can I do about it?

What has this experience made me say: “I really want to do X!” and “I really don’t want to do X!”?

Culture shock and reverse culture shock are real. What has helped me lessen their effects?

How has this experience led me to believe that vocational ministry is my calling? Or that marketplace ministry is in my calling? Or that entrepreneurial work is in my calling?

Has this shifted the trajectory of my future or affirmed it?

What dark or shameful secret do I need to process with a spiritual leader?

Today, I am a better version of myself with this experience under my belt. I am stronger, more experienced, wiser, more independent, and confident. What do I want to maintain as I “move into my old room”?

What did I learn about myself through this experience, specifically what I’m capable of and what I know is possible?

How do I wish you would have shown up differently? How can I set myself up to embody that in the future?

What are 3 new meals that I want to share with my family when I get home? What meals from home did I miss the most?

What are 3 things I am dreading after the adjustment period of being home passes? What are 3 things I missed the most being away from home?

What cultural ways of doing things, treating others, and speaking that I learned while I was away do I want to incorporate into my life, and which things do I want to reject?

What unhealthy patterns became visible when I stepped away? What healthy patterns did I gain?

How would I describe my current emotional, spiritual, and physical health?

What freedoms or liberty do I hope I have at home that I didn’t before?

Make a list of pros and cons of my experience and of home life.

How are you going to tell the story of what happened to you, of who you’ve become, the same yet different.

What was the best decision you made? What was the worst decision you made?

“Clarity isn't about knowing what you want to do with your life, it's about knowing what you want to do this week. You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need to know your next step." James Clear (Atomic Habits)

Friends, your prayers and financial support are invaluable! Thank you for carrying us in your hearts.

Love,

Dave, Heather, Aspen, Clementine, Louis, Juliana, Huxley, Caspian, and Felicity Helmuth

If you like to support us financially, there are several options to give:

Dave Helmuth

Out-of-the-box, relational, and energizing, I’m the founder that leads Ad Lib Music and a catalyst that builds connections that strengthen the Church.

https://adlibmusic.com
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