A Really Good Lunch
I was on staff and was failing with my techs. There was constant tension. There was contempt and sarcasm. And so much passive aggressiveness. There was no life. Rehearsals were dreadful.
My tech leader ended up quitting the team. I think one of the main reasons my working relationship with him failed was that no relationship ever actually existed. We didn't spend enough time together working things out, sharing vision and dreams, and simply getting to know each other. No amount of serving together could fix this. We needed face-to-face, non-ministry time together.
After he left, another one of my techs almost ended up in the same place of relational failure. Thank the Lord that my pastor told me this tech wanted to talk with me. So I invited him to lunch at our local burrito place.
Over huge flour tortillas stuffed with brisket, rice, black beans, guacamole, pico de gallo, corn salsa, lettuce, sour cream, cheese, jalapeños, and cilantro, we discovered a few of our differences of opinion. No surprise there. We were honest with each other.
But we built empathy and got to know each other.
I was able to share my heart and passion. I was able to listen to his.
And then he said something that almost made me cry. "Can we get together more often? Like maybe for lunch once a month."
Oh boy. You don't know how good it was to hear that - like a cup of cold water when I'd been crawling through a desert.
Crazy thing is, I had wanted to do just that: meet with each of my techs once every three months. This is more often than that, which is what I would've wanted but was afraid to ask for.
I saw the goodness of God in this, the provision of the Lord. He led us to a common ground.
About a year later, my term at the church was up, and I moved on. But let me tell you something unexpected.
I cried.
It was for my sound guy. Who would’ve thought?
It wasn’t about friendship (the kind where you naturally connect), it was about brotherhood and loving and honoring.
I hugged him and said, “I appreciate you, buddy.” And then he left...when he walked out, I wept. A chapter was closing. We didn’t see eye to eye, but we actually cared about each other.
It was the Lord’s doing, and was marvelous in our eyes!
The question is: who do you need to have a great burrito with?
-Dave Helmuth
Author of the Five Faders and Founder of Ad Lib Music
ps. if you’re near Elizabethtown, PA, I recommend Good Burrito Co.
A Really Good Lunch (Nº 456)
Five Faders w/ Dave Helmuth
Don't be another passionate, unhealthy leader (who doesn't know they are unhealthy) who misses their calling, has a moral failure, burns out, or burns others. (dang, that's dark!)
Be a Five Faders leader who is the best version of yourself and helps your team to do the same!
We'll explore the motivations we each have:
Artists notice nuance.
Shepherds consider the individual.
Priests overflow with simple love and pure devotion to Jesus.
Educators bring out the best in others.
Producers plan, in order to exceed usual limits.
The Five Faders model is not just a tool, it's a game-changer. It will help you understand your motivations and those of your team, paving the way for healthier and more effective leadership. The good news is that a Five Faders team is fantastic! The bad news is that if we don't know what motivates us, our passion often blinds us and we are an unhealthy expression of our Fader.
In this small group, we'll not just learn about the Five Faders, but also put them into action. We'll explore how to apply the concepts to our teams in a practical way, and learn from each other, which is one of the best ways to grow in your lowest Fader.
DATES AND TIMES
Mondays from 9 to 10:30 AM Central, from January 6 to February 24 (8 weeks)
BUY THE BOOK
https://amzn.to/4mWlA6a
WHO IS DAVE HELMUTH
I'm a coach who leads Ad Lib Music, the worship coaching organization I started in 2002. We have coaches in Pennsylvania, Colorado, Texas, and South Dakota. I'm the author of the Five Faders book. I serve as a missionary in Costa Rica, where my family of nine and I have lived since 2019.