A Really Good Lunch

I was on staff and was failing with my techs. There was constant tension. There was contempt and sarcasm. And so much passive aggressiveness. There was no life. Rehearsals were dreadful.

My tech leader ended up quitting the team. I think one of the main reasons my working relationship with him failed was that no relationship ever actually existed. We didn't spend enough time together working things out, sharing vision and dreams, and simply getting to know each other. No amount of serving together could fix this. We needed face-to-face, non-ministry time together.

After he left, another one of my techs almost ended up in the same place of relational failure. Thank the Lord that my pastor told me this tech wanted to talk with me. So I invited him to lunch at our local burrito place.

Over huge flour tortillas stuffed with brisket, rice, black beans, guacamole, pico de gallo, corn salsa, lettuce, sour cream, cheese, jalapeños, and cilantro, we discovered a few of our differences of opinion. No surprise there. We were honest with each other.

But we built empathy and got to know each other.

I was able to share my heart and passion. I was able to listen to his.

And then he said something that almost made me cry. "Can we get together more often? Like maybe for lunch once a month."

Oh boy. You don't know how good it was to hear that - like a cup of cold water when I'd been crawling through a desert.

Crazy thing is, I had wanted to do just that: meet with each of my techs once every three months. This is more often than that, which is what I would've wanted but was afraid to ask for.

I saw the goodness of God in this, the provision of the Lord. He led us to a common ground.

About a year later, my term at the church was up, and I moved on. But let me tell you something unexpected.

I cried.

It was for my sound guy. Who would’ve thought?

It wasn’t about friendship (the kind where you naturally connect), it was about brotherhood and loving and honoring.

I hugged him and said, “I appreciate you, buddy.” And then he left...when he walked out, I wept. A chapter was closing. We didn’t see eye to eye, but we actually cared about each other.

It was the Lord’s doing, and was marvelous in our eyes!

The question is: who do you need to have a great burrito with?

-Dave Helmuth
Author of the Five Faders and Founder of Ad Lib Music

ps. if you’re near Elizabethtown, PA, I recommend Good Burrito Co.

A Really Good Lunch (Nº 456)